Why does a person fall in love? A variety of answers have been given to this question. Some people believe that love as such does not exist at all, that it is simply an attraction based solely on sexual instincts and the possibility of obtaining material gain. This point of view has a right to exist - moreover, for many people this is exactly what love is. However, there is also sincere love that does not depend on material wealth and the desire for intimacy.
Sincere love is extremely pure. Often a person is loved not for something, but in spite of everything, which once again proves the existence of true love. Such love is based on the true consonance of souls, no matter how loud it may sound. Loving friend As a friend, people often notice that the same thoughts come to them at the same time; this very well illustrates the existence of an invisible energetic connection between people.
There are so many similar coincidences that they cannot be considered an accident. Two souls actually enter into some kind of resonance, consonance. They have so much in common that they actually become one - sometimes loving people even feel each other’s pain. It is precisely this consonance, the merging of souls, that is the main sign of sincere love at the energy level.
How does sincere love manifest itself in reality? First of all, such love is not conditional. She does not look at social status and material well-being, and does not evaluate any prospects. All a person wants is to be close to the one he loves.
If a person sincerely loves, he is not afraid to seem funny. He is not stopped by the possible negative reaction of others, he is not afraid of gossip and gossip. Sincere love is above all this; no one and nothing can influence it.
To love sincerely means to have undivided faith in the one you love. To know that the person you love cannot do anything vile, wrong, or unfair. And if it suddenly turns out that this has become a reality, then sincere love will find justification here too. This point is very important - real love covers everything, justifies everything. To love means to forgive. If necessary, forgive time after time, again and again - precisely because you love.
Can true love disappear? Only in one case - if it does not turn out to be mutual. It often happens that people who were initially attracted to each other and had a lot in common gradually begin to move away. Now imagine a situation - one person continues to love, while for another his feeling has begun to fade. Most likely, it was never true - the person simply convinced himself that he loved. And when the first attraction passed, the threads that had recently connected the two people began to break. One continues to love, the other does not.
What happens next? A loving person feels that his love is not recognized. That he is not needed, he is rejected. This situation can last for a very long time, sometimes for years. And yet, gradually love begins to fade away - it simply burns out, not finding reciprocal support. It may not disappear completely, but its light will be very dim.
That is why sincere love needs reciprocity. When there is such reciprocity, love blossoms, two loving person can live together for a long time happy life. Even as they grow old, they will continue to love each other with the same intensity - because they fell in love not for external attractiveness, not for material wealth, but for the beauty of the soul.
Love is not given immediately. Many understand this, but not many are ready to work in order to finally love sincerely and deeply. It has long been noted that real feeling appears over the years; it takes a lot of trials and wisdom to fall in love. But let's take things in order.
1. Falling in love. The very first stage lasts a year and a half. People see their partner in the most attractive and unrealistic light. Beautiful appearance, good character, attention and kisses. Ideal. It was during the period of falling in love that many poems and novels were written. Films have been made and songs sung about this wonderful period.
“The chemistry of love” is what skeptical scientists who studied the human brain during falling in love called the first period. Hormones, endorphin and oxytocin, at first dominate the brains and blood of lovers. Centers negative emotions and rational thinking are considered blocked by these two powerful elements. Euphoria and high spirits accompany every meeting. Falling in love usually ends with a wedding or the beginning of a life together.
2. Saturation. When people start living together or spending a lot of time next to each other, the intensity of passions subsides, and a loved one becomes something familiar, even commonplace. The lovers are fed up with each other. Everyday everyday life comes into its own. The period of satiety passes almost unnoticed; it is most often short and rarely noticed by the spouses themselves. It is at the stage of satiety that shortcomings become noticeable. And not because the person hid them before, but because the brain finally begins to work in its normal mode. The period can drag on and change places with renewed love, if children are born in a family precisely in the period of love-satiation.
3. Disgust. The third stage is a real test for future love. The rose-colored glasses are taken off, selfishness flourishes wildly. Falling in love is already behind us, saturation has occurred. During this period, special attention is paid to the partner’s shortcomings, of which, it turns out, there are more than enough. Virtues become invisible, and once sweet eccentricities now drive you crazy.
Unfortunately, without the third stage, the path to sincere, deep feeling is closed. For some, disgust lasts several weeks or months, while for others it lasts for years or alternates from time to time with other periods.
Quarrels, stormy showdowns, each shows himself from the most unfavorable side, and each sees the other only as a lump of negativity and incorrectness. It seems that the person turned out to be the wrong one. It is at this stage that many people conclude: we are too different to be together, we need to separate. Divorce during the period of rejection is fraught with walking in circles. Many men and women, having divorced, fall in love again over time, become fed up and feel new wave disgust. Some fall into a kind of funnel of divorce, when each subsequent marriage is broken again and again by everyday life, shortcomings and selfishness.
4. Humility. There are no more storms. Quarrels happen less often. It becomes clear that it will not be possible to tailor a person to yourself. There comes an understanding that there is a person living with you who has both disadvantages and advantages. Usually during this period there is an active adaptation to each other. Special literature is used, communication with psychologists, long and often difficult conversations between spouses begin to resemble not a battlefield, but a negotiating table. These are teachings, preparation for love. Everyone begins to understand that they need to start with themselves: learn to forgive, understand, accept, endure. In many cultures and religions, humility, first of all, is the lot of women, who are naturally more flexible. It is she who, by her example, pushes a man to accept her too.
5. Service. In all previous stages, good deeds implied a response. Both spouses, doing something good to their other half, consciously or unconsciously expected reciprocal behavior. During the period of service, you want to do pleasant things just like that, because the person is dear, because the soul is already ready for this. Service occurs consciously and voluntarily; it brings pleasure to both spouses. If one person is delayed at the previous stage, the other speeds up the process through his own behavior. Free service is the first shoots of love.
6. Friendship. This is where respect and understanding begin to show themselves. The couple had already been through a lot by this time. Spouses know each other's characters and habits well, and know how to get out of difficult situations without conflicts. Both learned to do what was pleasant and necessary. They feel good and interesting together. The period of friendship can sometimes last for years and decades, because the spouses feel quite comfortable. Most often, friendship manifests itself brightly when the children have already grown up a little and the parents have enough time for each other. Childless couples come to friendship around the same time.
7. Love. The long-awaited deep feeling comes deservedly and naturally. Understanding at a glance, spiritual unity – this is love. Few people reach this stage. After all, you must first learn to humbly and calmly accept a person as he is, take care of him free of charge, and accept his individuality. The stage of love is higher than simple attraction or habit; it is in love that spouses open up and harmoniously complement each other, their shortcomings are neatly smoothed out, and their virtues are reflected in each other. This time the hormones are no longer boiling, there is a calm and joyful acceptance of the whole person, integrity.
Probably, some readers have had the opportunity to meet elderly spouses who enjoy each other’s company. During the conversation, they are passionate, smiling, their faces radiate quiet, wise happiness and peace. And it is worth remembering that these people did not live like this in perfect harmony from the first day of their meeting, they grew their love, came to it through hatred and cooling.
According to psychologists, a couple needs at least 7-10 years to reach friendship and respect, which over time will give way to sincere love. We wish our readers to feel just such a feeling.
What is love? Is any feeling for a person of the opposite sex love? Longing for him or her, bright dreams, desire for good - is all this love? Or maybe love is something more than a feeling? How do you know that this is love?
For centuries, historians and writers, musicians and artists, psychologists and physiologists have been trying to explain love or find the keys to this multifaceted human condition.
Love in the fullest and highest sense of the word is considered one of the most incomprehensible mysteries of the universe. How and where does it come from? For what? Where and why does it disappear? How is life alive when lovers are separated for a long time?
We can find answers to these and other questions related to the sacrament of true love in Islam. Much attention is paid to love, sympathy and relationships between men and women in the religion of Monotheism.
It is impossible to create a good family in a religious sense without love, it is impossible to raise good children without love, it is impossible to treat each other well without love!
The concept of “love” was laid down by the Almighty in the first man Adam (peace be upon him) and his wife Chava (Eve). Allah created man - the forefather of humanity Adam (peace be upon him) - and created for him a wife from his own flesh. And love was given to them by the Creator, so that in their union they would find comfort and relaxation, find peace and tranquility. The establishment of love, affection and grace between spouses is a sign of the Creator.
From them this wonderful feeling - love - was later inherited by all of humanity. And since then, people have been looking for love, falling in love, finding it, getting used to it, suffering and learning to forget it if it is unrequited.
It was the tradition of the prophets to marry, and love strengthened their marriages. The eternal speech of the Almighty - the Holy Quran - tells us about the origins and origins of human love between a man and a woman (meaning): “From the signs of Allah is that He created for you wives from yourselves, so that you find peace in them, and established between you are bonds of love and mercy. Indeed, in this is a clear sign for those who reflect" (verse 21 of Surah Ar-Rum).
The word “love” is often found in religious texts, but they mainly talk about love for the Almighty, His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), other prophets, righteous people, saints and love between believers.
The wonderful story of Zuleikha’s love for the Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) is also mentioned in the Holy Quran. During the trials of the Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him), the Almighty showed us how to resist temptation and maintain purity and chastity. And using the example of Zuleikha, he showed how strong the feeling of love can sometimes be. There are also many episodes telling about love between a man and a woman in Islamic religious texts.
The theme of love is very widely covered in eastern poetry. Leili and Majnun can be considered some prototypes of Romeo and Juliet. This is a tragic love story popular in the Near and Middle East.
“Ghais ibn al-Mulawwah ibn Muzahim, a young Bedouin poet from the Banu Amir tribe, fell in love with a girl from the same tribe named Layla al-Amiriyya. He composed poems and songs where he sang his love for Leila. When Gais asked Leila’s father to marry his daughter to him, he refused, because it went against the rules of the tribal system.
Then Gais left his tribe and began to wander through the desert. Gais's relatives tried to persuade him to return, but, having achieved nothing, they decided to leave food for him in the middle of the desert. Sometimes he was seen reading poems about Leila to himself or writing in the sand with a cane.
Leila moved to Iraq, where she soon fell ill and died. A few years later, Gais was also found dead, lying near the grave of an unknown woman. He wrote his last three stanzas on the gravestone.
People knew that Gais was crazy with love, so they called him “Majnun Leila” - “Driven crazy by Leila”, or simply Majnun.
The problem is that in modern society the concept of love is often referred only to sexual attraction and sexual intimacy without any responsibility. True love is deprived of its purity, sacred meaning and innocence when its needs are practiced outside of marriage. Modern propaganda of debauchery and dirty manifestations of unconventional subculture can in no way be attributed to a pure feeling of love.
The negative consequences of misunderstanding love also abound. Mostly among young people, “one-time hobbies” are considered to be love, and such terrible sins as adultery and adultery are considered “normal life collisions.” Some, having tried too much “love”, find out that people call them strollers, prostitutes and other similar words. Many have on their record the murder of unborn children (abortions), illegitimate children. Often misinterpreted love and so-called unrequited love become the cause of suicide. They try to drown disappointment in love in alcohol, but at the same time the human appearance loses its beauty and spirituality becomes shallow.
It is impossible to force a heart to fall in love or to prevent it from falling in love. Pure and sincere love is given to man by the Almighty. This is the strongest test, a difficult life exam, but it must only be passed with “excellent marks”. And how to do it? This question is not rhetorical at all, everything is simple, like everything ingenious. Islam gives perfect instructions for lovers - there is no better action for loving hearts than marriage. If someone falls in love, let him go and woo her. And if love is not mutual, there is no better medicine than patience. After all, Allah will surely reward patience. The Koran says: “O you who believe! Seek help from patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient (He favors those who are patient and steadfast in spirit)” (verse 153 of Surah al-Baqarah).
And for girls, a good example is what the mother of the believers, Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), did. When she, realizing the greatness and nobility of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), fell in love with him, sent her maid to him to notify him that she wanted to marry him.
Love will come unexpectedly
When you're not expecting it at all...
And we can continue the poet’s words like this:
God grant that she be gracious and that we are happy in marriage...
But love can disappear just as quickly, as if it never existed at all; As people say, from love to hate there is only one step. Sometimes people who passionately swore before the wedding in love until the grave, disappointed, get divorced - and after that become... sworn enemies.
For many, happiness is love, and therefore in the end I want to reveal the most important secret of love: how to preserve love and preserve family happiness. And this secret is contained in the Koran: “...If you are grateful, I will give you even more...”(Surah Ibrahim, verse 7).
Thank Allah for love, appreciate love and tell your spouses more often: “I love you!” To be grateful to the Almighty for the love He has given means to express this gratitude both in words and in the heart, to protect yourself and your heart from sins and betrayals, to avoid everything that brings you closer to sin. By showing gratitude in this way, you can preserve and increase love in hearts, mutual understanding between loving spouses and become happy.
Love and be happy - and may Allah protect us from adultery and adultery!
Relationships between people have many of their own characteristics, and it is not always possible to correctly interpret the behavior of another person. This is especially true for relationships between a man and a woman. Very often, difficulties arise due to the fact that a woman does not understand the seriousness of a man’s intentions. Does he have sincere feelings for her or is he just having a good time? Let's try to figure this out.
Not every woman understands how a man works. They think completely differently and often do not talk about their feelings. But if a man experiences real, sincere feelings, it will be reflected in his behavior. There are four most common signs by which you can determine what the object of your sympathy is truly experiencing:
If a man is in love and has truly sincere feelings, then you should take a closer look at how and what he dresses. There is a misconception that only women like to dress up. When a man is in love, he will change his usual, comfortable clothes for more stylish and fashionable ones in order to please his chosen one.
The second sign of falling in love betrays a man with his head. He cannot take his eyes off his beloved, especially when he thinks that no one can see him. A man will admire his woman, and if he notices that he has been caught in this “crime”, he will immediately look away.
A man’s sincere feelings are especially evident when his beloved needs help. It doesn’t matter what the nature of the problem is: emotional, financial, physical or any other, he will certainly offer his help. But if he is simply observing from the sidelines, then it is worth thinking about further continuation of the relationship.
But if he speaks smoothly, too smoothly and as if he was rehearsing his speech at his leisure, it means that his feelings are not entirely sincere. When a guy loves, he doesn’t choose pompous, literary words in a conversation, but says everything as it is. A person in love feels relaxed in a conversation and will use the same expressions as in a circle of friends. And of course, he will avoid obscene language.
Sincere feelings or not can be determined by observing a man’s reaction to the mood of his chosen one. If he is happy when his woman is doing well, then he really has deep affection for her. When he gets irritated, if his lady is not in the mood, it means about healthy and strong relationships out of the question. A guy in love will do everything to make his chosen one feel happy.
A man in love will always take a girl with him to all kinds of events and parties, meetings with friends. This is the simplest answer to the question: “How to understand whether he experiences sincere feelings or not?” If a man likes to appear in a circle of friends and acquaintances, accompanied by his chosen one, this only says one thing: this girl is not just another temporary hobby.
You should also not be fooled by how much money a man spends on his lady. This is the most common female mistake that everyone needs to be warned about: if a man spends a lot of money on his companion, this does not mean that he has sincere feelings, love and affection for her. The law is simply that if a man has money, then he simply likes to spend it to show others that he is wealthy. And there is not even a hint of high and pure feelings. There has never been and never will be a connection between finance and love. If a guy gives expensive gifts, it just shows that he has money and wants to spend it. There is no need to confuse consistency with sincerity.
Intimate relationships play an important role in the lives of lovers. Of course, everyone has long known that to satisfy their sexual hunger, guys can start short-term relationships with girls and later leave them without regret. If a man in a relationship is only interested in sex, do not deceive yourself - this is not love at all. After all, love is not only intimacy. Anyone who really has sincere feelings for a girl will wait patiently until his beloved is ready to spend the night with him.
Men rarely talk about love, but the signs of manifestation of this bright feeling are very difficult:
This is how they are - men in love. And even if they are not so emotionally organized as to express all their feelings in words, their actions speak for themselves.
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