Husbands who have left for their mistress often ask to return. How long will the affair last? Let's look at the stages of the relationship between husband and mistress.
Unfortunately, not all men realize that betrayal can destroy a family forever. Sometimes understanding comes only after the betrayal has already been discovered; the wife does not want to have anything to do with the person who cheated on her. Many women are ready to forgive the offender if he returns and asks for forgiveness. My husband left for his mistress and I wonder when he will return? Let's look at the stages of their relationship.
Of course, this happens very often. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves. First you need to understand that any relationship goes through several stages.
For example, the first stage is when two people notice each other. This is the stage of accumulation of potential, when people look closely at each other, try to understand whether they like them, whether there can be something between them. The most annoying thing is that the flash often does not occur within 3 seconds. For some, the impulse is enough, but many men admit that their passion has been fueled for years, and sometimes even decades.
Will the husband return to the family from his mistress if he has been planning his “escape” for years? Complex issue.
How long does it take for husbands to return from their mistresses?
The stage when everything is perfect, the world looks nice, and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach, lasts about 3-4 months. During this period of time, the potential of the candy-bouquet period passes. There is still no time for everyday trifles, no time for solving any real problems. A man tries to look macho in the eyes of the opposite sex, capable of any feat.
After a few months, many people feel like they've played enough. Now they understand that the candy-bouquet period cannot last forever. Men who are not very hardy may show the first signs of a desire to return to their old life. When the husband returns from his mistress, you can tell from this that he is “satiated” with an affair on the side.
This is pressure from a girl asking her to decide on a relationship.
To be honest, few people are satisfied with the role of a mistress. For many girls, this is humiliating, and therefore they put pressure on the man, trying to get a clear answer and promises for the future. Moreover, promises must be quite specific. For example, a mistress can extract a promise to divorce no later than in a month.
Your husband left for his mistress, and you don’t know when he will return? At this stage, he may already be thinking about returning to the family, because not every man will divorce his wife, much less promise to marry someone again. At this stage, feelings of guilt often arise. A person begins to realize that he has hurt someone and offended a loved one. Moreover, nostalgia for previous relationships arises.
When women ask how long it takes for a husband to return from his mistress, they want to answer that in six months or a year maximum, but in reality it’s not that simple.
Only your husband knows when your husband will return from his mistress.
It all depends on what kind of relationship people are in. We can only say that often after 4-5 months of a relationship (if the husband has not yet returned) a difficult period begins. If your husband does not want to throw himself headlong into a new relationship and understands that it was a mistake, then he will not get married.
There comes a time when he tells his mistress that he will call her back. Or he says that the moment is about to happen when he will settle everything and they will be happy together again. At this time, he himself is negotiating with his wife and testing the waters. If they are ready to accept him back with open arms, then he can easily backtrack and break off all relations with his mistress.
Will the husband return to the family from his mistress?
depends largely on where there is less pressure on him.
At the final stage, when he decides to “call back later,” pressure from his wife can, on the contrary, decide the matter in favor of the family.
Everything is individual. Therefore, it is impossible to unambiguously determine how long it takes for husbands to return from their mistresses. We can only say with certainty that all stages of betrayal are unpleasant and waiting and hoping for the return of a once loved one to the family is humiliating. Therefore, it is better to build relationships in such a way that the man understands the full weight of responsibility for betrayal, which will fully fall on his shoulders if this happens.
The everyday situation when a wife leaves her husband for her lover occurs quite often. But the situation when she asks back is not that rare, it’s just that, as a rule, they are not very advertised. Usually, the departure of one of the spouses is accompanied by a storm of emotions, screams, and the sounds of broken dishes. But reconciliation always happens quietly.
But even in order to accept an ex-wife who left for her lover and now asks to quietly return back, very compelling reasons are needed. And if now your wife, whom you have probably already classified as an ex, appears again on the threshold with a suitcase in hand and asks to go home, you will probably think at least for a second whether to be or not to be. There comes a moment during which your whole life flashes before your eyes, and all sorts of pros and cons fall on the scales.
If you don’t mind, I will spend this conditional second next to you and help you with the right arguments - whether to allow her to come back or not.
Let's try to imagine what it takes to forgive your ex-wife for the fact that you spent on her best years his only life, spent 18 hours a day, gave it the best, sometimes denying himself some small joys. Everything is in order to provide her and your children with decent living conditions, and instead of gratitude you receive the news that she has left for another man.
The very departure to a lover suggests that the decision seems to be emotional, but not spontaneous. They don’t just leave for a stranger. This means that the affair with your lover flared up some time ago, and while you were working hard, some aggravating circumstances appeared. In the form of horns. Branched ones like that. Which made you into a Deer. That's right, with a capital letter.
Now think about what went wrong with your missus that she decided to leave her lover and is asking to come back to you? And, I’m used to not only sleeping sweetly, but also eating deliciously, dressing well, relaxing in good conditions, and the new guy, although he sang like a nightingale, did not succeed anywhere except alcove pranks. It's unfortunate, but what do you have to do with it? She had already made her choice, no one really forced her. Gone means gone. Now it is not your concern to provide for your ex-wife and her whims. And her tears, wallowing at your feet and the fact that she is asking to come back should not shake you at all.
After all, who said that their relationship with their lover was over. Perhaps she is asking back because the new lovers are playing a play and want to live a little at your expense. Love is love, but I also want to eat. So don’t be that same Deer, drive her away from the threshold so that there’s not even a soul left.
Of course, it is much more difficult to make a decision if you have already acquired heirs. Children, especially small ones, can greatly shake the confidence that their roaming mother cannot be forgiven. And what's in in this case she will try to use the presence of offspring for her own purposes - a fact.
But even here you need to keep your head cool. Was she thinking about children when she left for her lover? Why, when she asks to come back, does she manipulate them? And then, I hope that your desire to remain a father does not depend on whether you and your children live under the same roof. And then, no one has the right to prohibit you or your parents from communicating with your heirs. If you are not a wimp and you still have the courage to throw her out, after which your ex-wife will prevent you from meeting your children, feel free to sue. You are guaranteed to have your own days to meet your child. Otherwise, it will suddenly turn out that you will be able to get full custody. Of course, our laws are humane, and as a rule, the court takes the side of the mother, even the one who is walking. But who knows…
You may regret wasted years, money or anything else. However, you only need to regret your own indiscretion. When you got married, didn’t you consider your wife’s “tendency to escape”? Or when, already as a legal wife, she made eyes at strangers? Didn’t you pay attention either, chalking it up to ordinary female coquetry? Well, the punishment for inattention in this case, unfortunately, is quite adequate. But I don't want to upset you. I hope you still have enough time ahead so that when you have another woman, you can make the decision to marry consciously, carefully and for the rest of your life. In a word, thinking with your head, and not with what you thought when you got married for the first time.
If your wife left for her lover, and now you give in, forgive her and allow her to come back, then there is a high probability that after a while you will encounter a problem - she has not sincerely repented. It didn’t work out with one - she will look for another, a third, until she finds it. He who betrayed once will betray again, this is an axiom. And you will simply waste time, your best years of life. And then you will again be in unbearable pain. But in addition to time, you can also lose most of your property.
There are women who left for their lover, but over time they realize that they made a mistake. Not because they have lost something materially, but because by comparing they understand that it was absolutely better in the previous family.
And after the first passion goes away and the woman begins to slowly think with her head, it turns out that such a radical step as leaving for her lover was taken recklessly. And he seems to want to go back, but he understands that he can hardly count on forgiveness. It is likely that she will try to return to the past, but having received a turnaround, she will quite successfully be content with what she has. But there are also such insidious individuals, even despite the fact that they understand that they have made a mistake and will not receive forgiveness - they are ready to shake them out ex-husband everything to the last penny to support yourself beloved.
My friend, Katya, regularly walked to the left throughout the years she lived with her husband. And while he was earning money with blood and sweat on business trips and at “gangs,” she had fun in his apartment with various lovers. The birth of the baby not only did not stop her, but only provoked her. How will she lose her former attractiveness? No, she should get twice as many men. And her unsuspecting Sergei continued to work, starting to earn good money. Gradually, through the efforts of her husband, their life improved - they bought an apartment, then a good car. And Katya continued her revelry until finally, as in the joke, the husband returns from a business trip, and the wife returns with her lover. The unfortunate man threw both of them out of the apartment.
But the wife did not even think of asking to return. A high-profile divorce proceeding followed, during which Katya demanded that absolutely all property be left to her. And even when Sergei moved out of the apartment to his mother, she continued to pester him with slander. When, six months later, he bought himself another apartment (you won’t live with your parents for the rest of your life), she filed a lawsuit to get that too! At the same time, she herself already lived in civil marriage with a new boyfriend.
Another friend, Ira, in her second decade of marriage, went to a resort. Alone, without a husband. For one purpose only. Add some variety to your personal life. With a living husband and son. The result of a two-week holiday romance Ira's pregnancy appeared. She returned home, told everything to her husband and announced that she was divorcing him and going to live with her lover. But as often happens, the lover did not show delight either in Ira’s pregnancy or in her burning desire to live together.
Besides the fact that he himself considered the adventure over, his wife might be against it. What did Ira end up doing? She fell at her husband’s feet, started asking to come back, and had an abortion? Well, no. She told her husband that she would give birth. And since they are already divorced, she sues for the division of property (the apartment was donated by her husband’s parents!!!). And she also threatened that if her husband decided to arrange his personal life, her dad, a lawyer, would help her sue the entire apartment.
It's time to ask - would you forgive such women? Why did you decide that your ex is not like that? And then - does a woman who was for you a standard of purity, a symbol of femininity, but in reality turned out to be a banal adventurer (and this is to put it mildly) deserve to come back? And if you take her back, and a month later you find out that she is pregnant - for the rest of your life you will ask yourself the question of whether you are the father of the child who was born or is this the fruit of her passion on the side?
I don’t justify radical Muslims who execute spree wives, but I understand that a cheating wife must cease to exist for at least one man. For you. And even if you raised 100,500 children together, for you the belief in sincere bright feelings has ended - now there is a “before” and an “after”. Your wife has left, and your old life has gone - now you will be stricter, tougher, more reasonable, and you are unlikely to fall into the clutches of the first predator you come across.
A stern male “no” will save the fate of you and your loved ones and protect you from rash actions.
Ex-wife wants to come back
Get your wife back
Women are extremely amazing creatures who often do such illogical things that we men can only be shocked. For this reason, we should not be surprised if the ex-wife, who left you earlier with hysterics and scandals, expresses a desire to cling under your strong shoulder again.
And although this situation seems quite ambiguous, we will nevertheless suggest the basic train of thought that you should follow when making your final decision.
Remember that at such moments men most often begin to rush from side to side, dooming to failure not only a possible reunion with ex-wife.
This case has practically one of the easiest solutions. If you were the initiator of the breakup with her, then you must clearly understand and remember the reasons that served as the reason for the breakup. You will only need to make sure that these reasons still exist, which means you should not return to the same trough. And if everything is not so bad, then again the initiative comes from you.
As a rule, if a man already has a relationship that he values, then he should not return to the one he previously abandoned himself. Of course, there are small thoughts about the past and a desire to “remember your youth,” but current relationships are still of decisive importance.
If a man is without his other half, then after a couple of meetings with his ex he feels whether there is a spark or not. And then he himself makes the final decision.
Those. all the initiative comes from you, whatever decision you make will be the right one! In this situation, you have no opportunity to make a mistake.
But this is a real trap, since you have to make a choice in a situation where you do not know all the terms of the deal. Your wife may be talking to you about old feelings and true love, and she, for example, may be cooling down after her latest novel, or she needs your money, or she just got bored from loneliness and wanted to ruin your life. Of course, there may be a sincere desire to restore a relationship with you, but even this appears after she has been battered by life without you. In general, everything is very speculative.
Situation "Tightening". The ex-wife gets in touch with you and invites you to restore the relationship, motivating everything with pure love. Since such a presentation never works, it adds here the desire to give your children happy childhood and education. Those. she begins to put pressure on you through your children.
On the other hand, you have either already married another woman or are close to it, so your new woman you care. This is where the difficult question arises: “Who to choose in this situation?”
A simple rule applies here: “You should never deal with dubious partners when there are safe options.” Therefore, if you are now happy in your new relationship, then you have no moral right to ruin your happiness for the dubious opportunity of reconciling with your ex-wife. But if you are unhappy in your current relationship, then any decision you make will be correct.
“Lonely breadwinner” situation. When your ex-wife offers to restore the relationship, and you are not currently in a relationship, then your decision should be cautious and your actions should be slow.
Yes, you don’t have a soulmate right now to easily refuse your ex, and the opportunity to be with your ex again cannot but make you happy. But you must clearly answer one question: “For what purposes is she doing this? Why does she want to restore the relationship now?”
As a rule, you really come across women who, after some time, realize that their decisions were hasty, and they really don’t want to live without you. But there are also those who simply solve some of their problems with your help, or need some kind of help.
Even if she has a need and such a step is a necessary measure, this generally does not deny your victory over her, but it would still be useful to know the truth. Therefore, before you make a final decision, be a little lazy cat, who seems to caress, but does not give in to your hands.
After a maximum of a month of such a relationship with your ex-wife, you will be able to see the true reason. And this will already help you make the right decision. If you refuse your ex-wife's proposal, then this will also be the right decision.
To get a positive answer from you, many women resort to quite effective, but still straightforward manipulations. You should know them so as not to lose the ability to think rationally.
Think about the children. This is one of the most powerful manipulations when a woman prioritizes not your feelings and understanding, but her children. Naturally, any man will be offended by this formulation of the question, because no one wants to be an irresponsible parent. However, you must understand that first of all you are deciding the issue of personal happiness, and only then should you think about your children. You know, sometimes life without a father is even better for children than life in a family where parents argue and fight with each other every day. Therefore, first decide for yourself, then think about the children. This is the only way you can do better for them.
Manipulation of the past. The more time passes, the more bad memories are forgotten and good ones remain. This is a common practice when a person protects himself from negative memories. That's why women love to remind a man about the past (the good past). Then the man looks back and realizes that their relationship was wonderful, everything was great, and he is such a fool for letting such a woman go. And then he falls into the clutches of his ex.
To avoid such a situation, you need to look at the current state of affairs, and not admire your past. Then your decisions will be more adequate.
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