In our society, many men do not feel self-sufficient always and everywhere.
At the beginning of a family relationship, the husband’s inner emptiness is covered by his wife. They think they will love each other forever.
For him, a wife is a woman who will always be with him.
Now he feels self-sufficient and safe.
In your family, you yourself can deprive each other of what you then begin to look for in other people:
If this is exactly what is happening in your relationship, then that is why married man will have a mistress.
This is a problem not only for the wife, but also for the husband. He had to increase his level of awareness, work on himself and be self-sufficient on his own, without relying on external factors.
With his wife, the husband often does not feel cool. With my wife it’s a family, it’s love, an idyll and children.
And there is another girl who is cool!
Let's explore in more detail the question of why men have mistresses and the psychology of their thinking, why they secretly spend time with them:
Husbands cheat on their wives because they want variety. They want adventure, something new.
There should be no routine life in a family.
A person cannot eat the same yogurt in the morning, at lunch, in the evening and at night. You won't be able to eat this yogurt every day for two weeks because it's not normal and you'll get tired of it.
The same thing can happen in your family.
Attraction and chemistry in a relationship lasts 0.5 – 2 years maximum. Then it all ends.
Scientists' opinion about why husbands cheat on their wives is because they become accustomed to their partner's pheromones. Because of this habituation, you are already fed up with each other.
These are the realities of life. Everyone can get fed up.
On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:
Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.
If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.
How does a baby affect your sex life?:
Hence, as a rule, life in bed in your family fades into the background.
The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.
IN in this case The psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want more at night, but they don’t want to leave their family and child.
Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.
Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.
Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::
If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.
Or even just find a walking girl for one night.
After all, if the wife is very bad in bed, a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.
The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.
Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman. Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”
And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.
Because of television and mass media in the brain young man From birth, they instill the idea that married men are obliged to cheat.
Guys cheat, even though they love their girlfriend, because for them it is considered the norm and a common occurrence, as if in the order of things.
In some families, wives directly make it clear to their partner: “ If you're cheating on me, do it so that I don't find out.».
They actually voice it and say it, and the spouse remembers and draws conclusions.
Of course, later the wife will regret what she said if the betrayal comes to light.
Some men are very jealous. They may be motivated by selfish motives for cheating.
That is, even because of a simple feelings of envy or inferiority The husband wants to make his wife jealous.
Another reason could be that the wife spent time with the wrong people or cheated on him at some point.
Then the man will want to fill the hole in his self-esteem and stroke his pride on the side, taking revenge on his wife.
For example, he sees his wife communicating and flirting with other men at some holiday.
Her husband is often jealous of all men in a row.
He remembers all this, and is looking for a mistress in order to so that now they will be jealous of him.
Subconsciously, a man has the following belief: “ I can do this with whoever I want, but the girl can’t" Maybe for girls this will be a shocking answer to the question of why men cheat. But this is how our society works.
That is, in this case, the husband puts his interests above his wife and allows himself to go to the left.
A man thinks he has some privileges because of patriarchy in the family.
Also, the reason for betrayal may be that As a child, my husband's father also cheated on his wife.
Now an adult repeats the mistakes of his parents.
The reasons for a husband’s betrayal may be the following selfish motives:
Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.
The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:
If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot beauty from work replaced his wife in bed.
Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.
For more information on how to become more self-confident as a woman, we.
There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”
And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women, then a drunk husband may forget about his wife by the end of the evening.
After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.
Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.
He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.
Cheating occurs unconsciously.
This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.
The following video examines the dilemma of why a husband cheats and does not leave the family and his wife. In his opinion, this is due to a lack of love. Learn about all the pitfalls in this video.
Let’s close once and for all the question of why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them. The most common reasons are the following:
It is worth understanding that both partners are to blame for betrayal. You decide what to do with it next.
But to prevent cheating from happening, the wife should realize the following things::
All this will help you avoid betrayal and have a happy and harmonious family.
Subconsciously, every woman understands that her loved one can cheat on her. However, it seems to us that betrayal is only possible between a couple in whose relationship problems have been brewing for a long time, and between loving people betrayal is impossible. But, according to statistics from various psychological and sociological studies, men can cheat regardless of whether they have feelings for their significant other. Since every action has its own root cause, upon learning about the betrayal of a loved one, we all want to understand why this happened. Trying to answer such a difficult question, specialists from various psychological centers conducted a global survey and identified 25 reasons why men cheat. Of course, in reality there may be much more motives that push a man to cheat, but it is the factors listed below that most often become the main “triggers” before cheating.
1. Inability to say “No”
It is not always the man who initiates the betrayal. But, if he has attracted the attention of a woman who is interesting to him, and this woman clearly hints to him about the desire to continue the acquaintance, most likely he will agree. On the one hand, subconsciously a man will not want to refuse a girl, and on the other hand, his pride, of course, will be flattered by attention from the outside.
2. The desire to assert oneself
Some men perceive their mistresses as a kind of trophy that increases their own importance. This especially applies to middle-aged men, because the presence of new connections is proof of male attractiveness.
3. Influence of friends
Very often, men, having close friends whom they value and trust, unwittingly copy each other’s behavior. First, it is important for a man to earn no less than his best friend, then - marry an equally attractive and loving girl, and then find a mistress no less young than your friend’s. This behavior is explained by the natural male desire for competition.
4. Boredom
Cheating is perceived by a man as a kind of adventure and experiment, which very well dispels boredom and emotional sadness. At the same time, a man can be satisfied with everything in his family life, but a little intrigue or a hasty romance gives him the opportunity to feel free from routine and obligations.
5. He sees infidelity as a status symbol.
Sometimes men perceive betrayal as a symbol of their prosperous life, in which there is a family, position in society, prosperity and other signs of happiness. As a rule, in this case, men choose mistresses much younger than their years.
6. He wants to feel young
Even living in happy marriage and lovingly loving his wife, the man sadly recalls the time of his carefree single youth, in which he could afford to change lovers without thinking about responsibility. Very often the desire to feel young and free again pushes a man to cheat.
7. He wants variety
Men who had limited sexual experience before marriage will subconsciously seek to satisfy their curiosity and look for opportunities to make love with another woman.
8. He is confident that you will not find out about the betrayal.
If a man managed to hide the fact of his betrayal at least once, most likely he will cheat again.
9. Inflated self-esteem.
Some men, often suffering from high self-esteem, believe that their attractiveness and advantages give them the right to cheat with impunity. At the same time, they are unlikely to experience remorse, perceiving betrayal as commonplace.
10. To prove your courage
Some men are sure that the concept of masculinity and male viability is directly proportional to the number of sexual relationships. For this type of man, cheating is a kind of sport.
11. He is an adventurer
In a way, cheating is an adventure that increases the level of adrenaline in the blood. Some men like to experience danger so much and think through moves in order to hide their actions that this environment becomes the main reason for betrayal.
12. He's a player
What distinguishes a gambler from an adventurer is only a purposeful desire to deceive and cleverly deceive not only his wife, but also many other women. A man of this character perceives himself as a real Don Juan and a macho man, skillfully breaking the hearts of young ladies in love.
13. Confidence in your love
Perhaps the man deceived you before, and you generously forgave him. Perhaps for some time he was tormented by his conscience and he honestly tried to be an exemplary husband. But at one point the situation developed in such a way that he cheated again, believing that since you forgave him once, you will forgive all subsequent ones.
14. He fell in love
The most banal and at the same time the most serious reason that forces a man to cheat. No one is immune from new hobbies and, perhaps, even from new love, plunging into which it is impossible to remain faithful.
15. He accepts cheating as normal.
Some men perceive cheating as the norm. Most often, this perception is programmed in men whose fathers did not remain faithful to the family.
16. To realize your sexual fantasies
17. He takes revenge on you
Treason for revenge is more common feminine behavior. However, it is not at all uncommon for men to cheat, guided by this very motive. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that a man takes revenge on his wife for her affairs on the side. It is quite possible that in this way he is taking revenge on you for insults, indifference and any other family conflicts.
18. He wants attention
Unfortunately, after living together for several years or even decades, people get used to each other and become less romantic and attentive. In this case, betrayal is an attempt to feel loved and needed again.
19. He's having a midlife crisis
When a man reaches a certain age and realizes that he has already achieved all his goals, it may seem to him that there will be nothing new and interesting in his life. A midlife crisis is often accompanied by depression, in which betrayal is a kind of painkiller and an opportunity to bring newness into your life.
20. You don't share his interests
If the spouses, in addition to the common family budget and raising children has nothing in common anymore; they will inevitably become bored with each other. Lack of spiritual unity with his wife will sooner or later push a man to cheat.
21. He is a womanizer
Men who are womanizers have a special scale of values that does not include such concepts as love and fidelity. He does not see anything reprehensible in treason, so he easily makes new acquaintances.
22. He doesn't love you anymore
If love ends, but habit or life circumstances do not allow the relationship to end, the man will cheat on his wife, trying to find the old feeling.
23. You don't love him
Having felt a lack of love on your part, a man will probably look for this feeling in someone else.
24. He wants to end the relationship
Many men begin to cheat the moment they realize that their marriage is doomed. They do this consciously, without particularly hiding their deception, hoping that upon learning about the betrayal, you will initiate a divorce.
25. He drank too much alcohol
Almost half of all men surveyed admitted that they had cheated on their wives at least once under the influence of alcohol. At the same time, many cheaters, after sobering up, repented of their deeds.
Unfortunately, no one is immune from betrayal. However, in order to prevent sad consequences, it is very important not to turn a blind eye to existing problems, try to build your family life on trust and always pay attention to the behavior of your spouse.
I welcome girls and women from the vast expanses of the Internet to my FitKis Club blog. For those who don’t know, my name is Vitaly Okhrimenko, and today I decided to take greater responsibility for my frankness and open to you a man’s point of view on the question of why men cheat. Although maybe not a question, but a problem. For whom... Let's make ourselves some coffee, sit back and let's go!
When I began to study the existing materials on the topic of male infidelity on the Russian Internet, I was horrified by the fact that most of the topics about the motives for male infidelity were written by women. This is absurd, this is how I should write about the problems of the menstrual cycle. Of course, a woman, especially a female psychologist, can study the materials and know the theoretical side of the issue. But she will never understand with her soul what polygamy is and what engine of male infidelity is key.
In fact, the psychology of male and female infidelity is very different. Today I’m launching a section that we’ll look into together. In the foreseeable future, I will definitely prepare publications about female infidelity, and about the difference between male and female infidelity. I advise you to subscribe to blog updates so as not to miss out.
I want to warn you right away: many girls won't like what they read today. The true reasons for male infidelity can cause a lot of contradictions with the familiar world that women consider real. Our world is full of lies and falsehoods; behavior patterns developed by society and instilled in us from childhood initially contradict male nature. Sex with one woman all his life is as contradictory for a man as these lines are contradictory for every woman.
Don't be offended, dear ladies, but today rose-colored glasses will be broken by the laws of nature. If your browser is still open, please familiarize yourself with the first and most important motivator of male infidelity, whose name is polygamy.
If it's not too much trouble, take a quick anonymous survey for men. And I will collect data and provide current statistics on female and male infidelity, based on user responses. If you are a girl, please go through a similar one.
If the answer is no, then that's it. Well, if it’s positive, then let’s move on.
Yes, nature has long divided us into males and females. And no matter how developed our society is today, no matter how sincerely we want to move away from animal instincts, it is instincts that lie in the depths of most of our actions.
A man, every man without exception, does not need a mistress. We need LOVERS. And the more, the better. We shouldn’t blame the guys here – nature decided everything for us. And when a guy is indignant with his girlfriend, who tells him about the scoundrel Kostya, who dared to cheat on Svetka with an insidious librarian - he is a hypocrite! A psychologically faithful man is, first of all, a myth, a myth generated by women themselves.
Please don't misunderstand me. I’m not saying that there aren’t men who don’t cheat, there are, and not too few. But every faithful person wants to be unfaithful. And you shouldn’t scold your boyfriend for sneaking glances at the beauty he likes; instincts take precedence even over morality.
The problem is that every man contains millions of sperm, constantly ready for action. A woman has one egg, and physiologically the woman is ready to receive birth data from one partner. Guys need, purely on a biological level, to fertilize as much as possible more women . This is the instinct of survival, the instinct of procreation. The more females a male fertilizes, the greater the chance of his species to survive. Nature demands, nothing can be done. And every sex, even with three condoms, is perceived on an instinctive level as fertilization. And every time nature rewards the guy for fertilization, for transmission with a kind of colorful orgasm. Which, by the way, women experience much less often. In addition, active males have a better functioning immune system, higher energy potential, and better health and mood.
There are many areas of life where a man can realize himself. Whether it’s a career, sports activity, social causes... you never know. But no success will be complete without success with women. Yes, yes, and the share of every man’s success lies in the unconscious desire to be successful with lovely ladies. And no matter how successful a male is among other males, he will not be able to feel fulfilled without other females appraising his success.
But the moral tricks of society, along with the strong character and correct behavior of a woman, can keep a man from the basic male mission: fertilizing all the females that come his way.
Now I am not trying to absolve us of responsibility for treason. We dig deeper and find out what pushes men to such meanness.
Please immediately pay attention to the fact that the question of why men cheat now will be given a male perspective. Some of the reasons described in this article are quite similar to each other. Some, on the contrary, are completely different from each other. I tried to describe everything possible reasons precisely from a MALE POINT OF VIEW.
Instead of a sweet, pleasantly purring girl, an always grumbling, never made-up woman wanders around our kitchen, who is no joy either in the kitchen or in bed. It used to be like this: put on makeup, dress provocatively, make eyes. And now what: curlers on my head and the smell of cakes from my clothes. In addition, she is constantly missing something, doesn’t like something. It either saws or eats away the baldness. As it turns out, she doesn’t know how to cook, but she demands be healthy!
When a woman ceases to be an object of adoration, then there will certainly be another to fill this role.
And it also happens that a girl still remains beautiful and smart, but she has already been conquered. We men are first and foremost conquerors. We need to conquer, conquer, hunt. And when the prey is already sitting obediently in the enclosure, there is no need to achieve it, then we become not interested.
I guess I’m wrong, alcohol intoxication should have been the #1 reason! According to statistics, 80% of all betrayals occur “under the influence.” A reunion, a corporate event at work, a christening, a wedding, a birthday...you never know where a drunk man may end up without his woman. And it’s not only girls who are weak when they’re drunk...
He is used to charming and seducing girls, for him this is a familiar way of life. And if only one woman appears in the life of such a man, then he will still act by inertia - seducing and charming. I would call this type of men chronic bachelors, who, even if they are defective married family men with three children, will remain bachelors at heart and live according to their usual way of life, according to the established pattern.
In fact, this is a more complete disclosure of the first reason (see above). It is easier for a man to resist temptations when a woman satisfies him in everything. It's not just about sex. A sweet, affectionate wife who will cook delicious food, who will listen and support, who will cheer you up, relax you and take you to the bedroom from all your worries and worries - such a woman will hardly be ignored. But, due to emotionality, due to everyday difficulties, due to various crises and difficulties, it is sometimes very difficult for a wife to adjust herself to the right position.
Often a man is simply ready to run away from a nagging wife with a systematic migraine to a cute sexy babe, and even if she is interested in him only for money or only for bed, even if she is three times dumber and twice as uglier than his beloved wife, it doesn’t matter to a man. A man perceives a mistress as a kind of victory; how he achieved this victory does not matter. The winners are not judged, as you know.
There is a type of man who by nature is a kind of Alpha male, a chronic Casanova. As I wrote above, all men will be unhappy without success with a woman (we don’t take non-traditional women into account). Only one person has enough success with 1-2 girls, while for another, give him a new victim every week. For them, a quantitative indicator is much more important than a qualitative one; without this, this type of man does not feel like a man. For this type of girl, girls can be compared to firewood in a fire: if you don’t periodically add fuel to the fire, it will go out.
Psychologists claim that psychological problems lie behind this reason... today I will neither agree nor dispute with this. Someday I’ll make a psychological interpretation of the reasons for male infidelity, but today we take it for granted.
Most of the male population does not cheat simply because they do not have the opportunity. Here, first of all, economic and time factors play a role. Do you know why successful and rich men more often have mistresses? Because they have this opportunity: it’s easier for them to find time for this (working late, urgent business trip), and they don’t have to choose between buying their son a bicycle or taking their mistress to the southern coast of Crimea. They can afford both.
Every betrayal is, first of all, a vivid sensation. Being caught is terrible, but balancing on the edge, feeling the risk, the adrenaline is a completely different matter. You can’t even imagine how this feeling is everyday life some accountant or supply manager is missing. Life is too calm and measured, stable and the same. Lovely adventures bring action to life and make you feel like James Bond, with codes, secrets and passwords. Thanks to cheating, life stops being boring.
The flower-bouquet period of a relationship is the most pleasant, most interesting and intriguing time in a relationship. Everything is so romantic, you can hear music in the background that is not really there, all the colors become brighter, you feel a butterfly in your stomach and all that. Unfortunately, this goes away over time for absolutely all couples. In search of these same sensations, men can find their way to the left.
The danger of this reason is that a man driven by a sense of romance is capable of any nonsense. Throw yourself into what is called a pool headlong and even leave the family.
This is one of the most harmless reasons for male infidelity. Gray ordinary life, sharing a bed with one woman, the same problems and worries periodically become very boring. And the love affair becomes something like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy city poisoned by carbon monoxide and car exhaust. This reason is harmless because, having taken a breath of air, the man returns to the familiar haunted city, but he already feels much better there - there is no more oxygen starvation.
Unfortunately, we are little people, vile and insidious creatures. Often a husband has something to take revenge on his wife for: for a shirt ruined by an iron, for a life spoiled by a bad character... Well, or in response to betrayal. This is such a vile way of the triumph of justice.
A damaging relationship is simply an accident. Well, the stars aligned, the devil got me confused. Sometimes a man is not inclined to cheat at all, but his polygamous nature pushed him to this act that tarnishes his reputation. Which, by the way, he can sincerely repent of!
It happens like this: the wife is beautiful, smart, cooks well, allows herself to be constantly conquered - in general, she’s all so melting, but he, the viper, still went to the left. The woman asks a righteous question: “What have you been missing, you ungrateful bastard?” But he throws up his hands and doesn’t know how to explain that next to the imperfect one you want the ideal, but next to the ideal, on the contrary, you want the imperfect. I just want something new and that’s it.
Not all couples know how to satisfy each other in bed. As a rule, men love looseness, but due to various cockroaches in their heads, they may not accept this looseness from their beloved wife. Love, devotion, all the best remains at home. And another woman, who is ready to realize various erotic fantasies of a particular man, gets his dark side of the moon. Here, of course, it is fair to blame the man.
But it also happens that the wife or girlfriend herself is too constrained and is not ready to become a depraved baby. In this case, the jury is ready to acquit the prodigal husband.
I don’t know exactly where this stereotype came from, but it’s the custom in our society that a woman walking around is a bitch (sorry, I can’t afford foul language), but a guy walking around is cool! The influence of society and the influence of friends can play a role on the path to the left.
Due to different life and family crises ex-lovers, and now it’s just spouses who pay too little attention to each other. They are not interested in each other’s problems, they neglect the interests of others. Lack of attention is often the cause of female infidelity, but it can also have a very direct impact on male infidelity.
This cause of male infidelity has a high degree of risk for family ties. Rarely does the first girl become a wife; more often, a man had other girls before her. With some he managed to realize his masculinity and the page has long been turned, and with some there were some unrealized possibilities left.
One day, when your relationship with him is going through another crisis or even consists of these crises, he may remember his old love. Moreover, as a rule, I remember that girl with whom there were some ambiguities and the page never turned, remaining somewhere in a hidden folder with bookmarks.
What can I say, life can be too cruel and does not give us time to rest. This reason is typical for those men who work too much and have time to lie on the couch in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. The body cannot live in tension forever; it needs to relax sometimes. This damaging connection can become the very source of inspiration for relaxation. This reason does not pose a danger to marriage because, having relaxed on the side, the man returns to the family, again full of strength and energy.
As a rule, we men believe that we fill the gaps of attention, love and affection. But in fact, this is a replenishment of one’s own unfulfillment and unsuccessful life. Success for a woman is the same success, and if you haven’t achieved any other success, you need to somehow please your own ego.
Well, here it’s even more banal - the boredom and monotony of family life. Men are hunters, men are adventurers, men love adventure. Hunting and family, adventure and career, adventure and wife – you have to admit, these words don’t go well together.
After all, how interesting it was to climb to her third floor at night on tied sheets. Or how exciting it was to kiss on the roof of a high-rise building among the lights of the city at night. Another adventure was making love on the school playground equipment. Alas, with a stable, measured life comes the boringness of life.
I just ask: don’t think that we are all such idiots and unfaithful and change everything. As I said above, not everything, but we want to change everything. And don’t think that we don’t tend to feel guilty for our crimes. We feel guilt, just as we feel it (not always, though, but it happens). Sometimes we are overcome by a wave of self-flagellation, a feeling of betrayal. But what happens after this? And after that, as a rule, we begin to appreciate our beloved wife more (oh how!).
Girls and women, know: male infidelity is bad, but not very scary. Even systematic male infidelities with different girls may not be harmful to the marriage, unless, of course, the wife finds out about them.
The worst thing about most betrayals is the feeling of being betrayed. The trick here is that the man who cheated may not consider his action as a betrayal. He also loves his wife very much and values her very much. I just went on a spree once - a second time and that’s it, I gave nature its due without the intention of betraying it.
What you really should be afraid of is when a man takes a mistress. This can already be safely considered a betrayal, and this is precisely the risk that he can give up everything and leave.
When I decided to write on this topic, I thought that I would write one article and then we would examine the issue of male infidelity. No matter how it was, as soon as I dug deeper, I realized that without a hundred grams it would be impossible to figure this out at all. So, dear girls, subscribe to blog updates and stay tuned for new publications. This is just an introductory article to the issue of human infidelity. After some short time, I plan to examine the issue as much as possible and release a whole series of publications. I assure you it will be interesting!
We will analyze the motives of both men and female infidelities. We will understand why people need lovers, how to prevent the tragedy of betrayal in the family, and what to do if this disgrace has already visited your life. And most importantly (!) we will try to understand whether it is worth forgiving betrayal. The topic is interesting, the topic is relevant in modern world, sometimes even topical.
Well, once again I apologize if I wrote anything wrong. I tried to give a man’s opinion regarding the question of why men cheat, which may fundamentally not coincide with the world that you see from your female side. Please express your dissatisfaction and opinions regarding the article in the comments.
Thank you for your attention! Until new, exciting meetings.
With wishes of fidelity and love, Vitaly Okhrimenko!
Yeah, so many reasons) This is more of a post for girls to find out why their men cheat)
Although it was interesting for me to read.
Well, to be honest, the article was created for them (girls, in the sense).
Literally tomorrow I will publish an article for balance - the reasons for female infidelity.
A good article should help many women not suffer from male infidelity. Women, don’t worry, everything will work out, and everything will be wonderful, believe me, experience it yourself!
I think it will be even more interesting))) I’ll definitely take a look!
Of course it will get better, the main thing is that women will also learn to sometimes allow themselves to cheat, then men’s cheating will not be considered as betrayal))) Although many women have already come to the understanding that in order not to remain faithful to their husbands, no one needs it in our time)))
Oh how! Anna, I wonder where such a prosaic view on the subject of marital fidelity comes from?
Maybe you have some interesting life story on this matter, which led to this understanding?
Rather a modern view))) And I know a lot of stories, and I know more than one young women who think exactly this way, and after interviewing guys I know who had sex with married women, I myself also think) In your wonderful article about female infidelity it is called “ an eye for an eye,” only women do not take revenge on a specific man, but simply act with men the same way they do with women, promoting their polygamy and cheating, men must understand that now the women who will endure are not the same, far from being the same)))
I like having a discussion with you, Anna. I like the arguments you gave.
Thank you!
Maximum to the end next week I want to launch a competition where I will pay people money for quality comments on the topic of the article.
As they say: you are welcome to our hut. I will be sincerely glad to send prizes to such a high-quality commentator
Ok!))) When discussing such topics, we should all think that this is not funny, cheating men provoke female infidelity, family breakdown, abandoned children that no one wants, a decrease in the birth rate down to one child, due to the fear of being left alone, because . a woman is not a thing on which experiments can be carried out, but a woman can live with one child! In your statements, I still noticed a loyal attitude towards male infidelity and a fear of female infidelity, but write an article about how destructive all this is, we are already dying out and there will be more worse(((P.S. Only one of my friends has 2 children, it happened by chance, the rest have 1, including me! Fear of betrayal (((
To be honest, Anna, I never thought about this.
As for the loyal attitude towards male infidelity and fear of female infidelity... I wanted to write as objectively as possible, but, as you can see, I didn’t succeed very well. Or rather, it didn't work out at all.
I am a man, and I look at this from my bell tower. And I’m afraid you’re right - this bell tower still has a subjectively masculine side.
And the issue of betrayal is indeed very global in our age. And here the big question is how the situation of divorces can be improved: a description of the destructiveness provoked by infidelity, or vice versa - the promotion of a more loyal attitude towards infidelity.
Now I’m preparing an article about the difference between male and female infidelity. I’ll publish it one of these days, it would be interesting to get your opinion...
An article about the difference between male and female infidelity))) Written by a man) What’s the difference? You will prove how it hurts a man and how it hurts his pride, and that for a man it’s just sex and there’s no milking for a woman?))) All this is an exclusively male point of view ! Cheating on a woman by a man hurts no less, and if a woman doesn’t leave, it’s only because she’s thinking about children, and in general it’s harder for a woman in life, but does a woman forgive? Does she forget? Doesn’t this destroy her feelings? The pain of betrayal for women no less than for a man! And knowing that you won’t write this, consider modern women, and for us, cheating is also meaningless sex, very often, I assure you, I communicate with women
It’s strange, to be honest, I still have other thoughts, which I will post in the article. And then I want to conduct a qualitative survey on this matter, we will delve into the essence of the problem as we study...
This is probably true - sharing a bed with one woman periodically becomes very boring. But what about one man? Probably too. Are they really changing everything? Men and women?
I'm sure not all. I want to collect anonymous statistics on cheating. Now I’ll clear up a couple of publications and get to work.
I found statistical data on other resources, but I honestly don’t know how much you can trust them. And this will be almost 100% information
Just not long ago, I proved to my boyfriend that no ideal men. No matter how hard a woman tries, a man still looks at other people’s girls. As there is a saying: “Like a wolf, don’t feed it, but it still looks into the forest!” But it is also impossible to trace. My opinion is that if a man wants to leave, nothing will stop him... not even children.
Oksana, in order for a man not to leave, you need to love and trust him. No matter how absurd it may sound after reading the article, but this best ways hold a man
This phrase from Vitaly about other considerations suggested the idea that after all, women and men have different views, and we probably need to learn to understand each other. Transfer from female to male and vice versa)))) Maybe then there will be less betrayal. A man will understand how a woman feels, a woman will begin to think not why this happened to me, but will delve into the true reasons. In general, we need to look for common ground not only in the bedroom but also in thinking, in life)))
Yes, Tatyana, you are right. To understand the situation, you need to try to put yourself on the opposite side and consider the motives.
By the way, you have now given me an interesting idea for a new publication, which I will certainly implement in the near future!
I read your article. And I think there is a way out! But where is the path? We are a young family of 30+/- two children. I don’t cheat on my wife, but every single day that’s all I think about. And I can’t know how long I’ll last. Intimate life none.((
Thank you for the article, of course, but I don’t understand a little why the responsibility for male infidelity falls on a woman’s shoulders, why in this situation she should rack her brains that she’s doing something wrong, why she didn’t please the wrong person. It already hurts her that another one has appeared. And at this very moment when the ground disappears from under her feet, poor thing, she needs to forgive him for not being a good person, understand his motives and start working on himself? Isn't it too much for a woman??? But the man seemed to have nothing to do with it, there wasn’t enough attention and affection, she supposedly overlooked it, she should have tried better! Is that how it works? One-goal game. And the man doesn’t seem to have any responsibility for your relationship. It is at such moments that you understand that you will no longer be able to love this person and care about him sincerely, since it is impossible to forget this betrayal.
Our dear, beloved men! How naive and sweet you are in your even more rose-colored glasses, which you don’t even want to take off)))) Fortunately for you, you don’t even know half the truth about how things really are with us women)))) desperately trying to kill us and tell the whole truth about your infidelities, you are missing the most important thing)))) an even greater number of female infidelities to you, sorry. These have long been undeniable facts that men so stubbornly refuse to notice and women so desperately hide in order to preserve your self-love, psyche, and self-esteem. Yes, and most importantly, we love our men very much, so we hide our campaigns much better in order to protect you from disappointment and not hurt you so much! We do not write such articles, we do not assure you of our same natural polygamy and the same inherent nature, justified by instincts, the need to change partners. On the contrary, we are foaming at the mouth))) against the women, and fiercely criticize even cheating women! It’s more convenient for us and calmer for you. It will lull your vigilance; we can get everything you want and good beloved husbands and lovers. And you continue to naively believe in what you believe in)))) and you will be happy! We also suffer from remorse when we cheat on you, so we often “don’t notice” and “forgive” your behavior, because we do it ourselves! Sometimes even more often than you. ;) the difference is supposedly about big difference psychology and nature, M and F are nothing more than a myth existing in society (mostly in Russian society, speaking of civilized countries). And the truth is very far from your reasoning. And you are cheating on us women, with us - women))) and we are cheating on you men, with you same as men))))) our love and infidelity are mutual))) (if now they start writing about the fact that M is supposedly M less than F, they will immediately be scrapped. Refer to the official statistics in Russia up to 30 years M is more than F, and from 30 to 50 is about the same. Women just don’t like the idea that M is allegedly cheated on more often, it only lulls your vigilance and gives F more opportunities in this regard))) which we use, all the hype around your cheating only creates a good screen for ours. )))) As singer I. Olegrova incredibly accurately noted in one of her songs, “Everyone who is not first is our second”))) Dear men, continue in your touching ignorance and be happy! And the reasons for female infidelity are very simple: I wanted arosto and that’s it)))) the same nature))) and revenge and similar nonsense, in 10th place
Vitaly, thanks for the article!
1) polls don't work
2) Nadya in the comments, of course, is in vain speaking for all women... it’s downright offensive. Thanks to such statements, for example, my chastity will be perceived as lies.
3) But about polygamy - yes, the thesis does not stand up to criticism, obviously it is too superficial. Women are just as polygamous, and oh, I like all sorts of men, and yes, as sex objects, but why doesn’t that motivate me to carry a condom in my pocket and cuckold someone? It would be very interesting to understand the deeper background. So far there is only one explanation - has nature given men less conscience?
4) And one more question that I beg you to answer: doesn’t the need to lie and hide something make you feel bad? Don't you feel that when you have secrets and reticence, you are ruining your relationship?
Cool article! So I’m wondering, do men after 50 still go to the left? Or have they thrown enough sticks and we can calm down? But in general, of course, it’s terrible... to live and know that they will cheat on you... somehow the desire to exist with someone at all disappears! It's better to die alone than to die with horns! I don’t want mine to cheat on me or drool on other people’s women!
I don’t understand you men. If you don’t like the way your wife looks, go up to her, give her money and hint that she should go to the salon to get herself in order. Get a manicure, get a haircut, put on makeup. Go buy her some sexy lingerie, have a romantic party
Not only do you lack romance, we also lack it. But for some reason you write that women owe it, we don’t owe you anything. You want us to look good, so wash the dishes, and give your wife time for herself. Otherwise, we should clean, cook, sit with the child, and you come so poor, you ate, washed and lie down because you are tired, and we seemed to be having fun all day. An anonymous person wrote that they don’t have sex with their wife because they have two children. So leave the children grandmother, aunt, uncle, no matter who. Take your wife, arrange a romantic evening and you will have sex. If you want, you will find someone to leave the children with for 3 hours. You men were also different, looked after us, gave us flowers and your eyes lit up looking at us. We shouldn’t forgive you for your infidelities because that’s how you are by nature, forget about it. Give women what they want from you and they will give you what you want in return. Go home from work and buy her flowers just because , and not like you give for a birthday and on March 8. When you see your wife, she will behave differently and caress her, and her brain will not be cut and there will be sex
Thank you very much for the article (I won’t hide the fact that many things really seemed extremely contradictory). The fact is that I personally don’t know any men who would not cheat (including my father and all his male entourage). It is extremely difficult to say that the women themselves are to blame for this, since all of them (wives) really were a real reinforced concrete wall for their (now former) husbands. All these amazingly strong females have essentially built a life line for their lovers (career, absence of everyday problems and procreation)... for some reason men tend to attribute all achievements only to themselves and for some reason no one ever says an ELEMENTARY THANK YOU to those fragile creatures, who are or were nearby. Like... all the men I know are over 20-30 years old life together with trusted companions, they abandoned them to hell at the peak of their personal (as it seemed to them) fame and went to the ladies 15-20 years younger (what is this??? the last surge of polygamy :)))). I agree that nature takes its toll (sort of...), but we are people (HUMANS:)). Poke-poke on the side - it’s great, no doubt - to try a new pussy or touch a new boob, but can this really change anything in principle? It’s like the bullshit with toys in childhood (you got tired of the doll - you threw it in a bin and bought a new one). I believe, albeit as a female person, that a man is obliged to work on the reason for his desires, and not pretend and follow whims, explaining this by nature, boredom, polygamy, etc. In contrast, I can give an example of a woman’s monthly work on her PMS - believe me, dear men, how much it costs to smile on THESE days, and not to stick a fork in your neck or yourself. Well, finally, I would like to add that promiscuity has never brought anyone any good in all senses and respects, because the number of offended and insulted people (who were simply poked at in order to simply return home in a good mood) can radiate a shitty cloud negativity, which you then drag on yourself and you know where.
Hello everyone! I came across something similar situation with my husband We have been married for 15 years, the child is 12, I began to notice that family relationships cooled down, my husband began to disappear and work late. A friend recommended one person, he installed a wiretap on his phone, I also knew his location and completely controlled all calls and correspondence, as well as WhatsApp and Viber. It turned out that he has another family, a 6-year-old daughter, and that he lives with me only because of his son. Let thousands of deceived wives open their eyes and find out whether the other half is faithful to him.
Many women, in my opinion, significantly exaggerate the horrors of male infidelity. If this whole situation is not tied to love and emotions, then by and large the matter is not worth a damn.
In this case, cheating is just a form of leisure, like fishing or hanging out with friends in some bar. A way to diversify life - nothing more. And this circumstance does not mean at all that the man has stopped loving his wife, that she has become bad in bed, or that he intends to leave his family - he’s just overwhelmed by passion, what can you do about it.
But passion is a fleeting thing, a man can completely forget about it after a couple of hours, especially if the day is eventful - a visit to a sports club, an important meeting at work, interesting book... Sex with another woman will be approximately in the same series - I got an adrenaline rush, let's move on.
123RF/Gleb TV
This, however, does not mean that I will now justify infidelity and shield the entire male race. Treason has its own ambush, and the most important of them is that they become boring. If you lived with one woman all your life, and then suddenly cheated, then yes, this is a whole event. Wow! Cool! But when you've had 7, 10, 15 women, all the magic goes away. It seems like there was sex, but something is missing. The fire was not burning brightly at all.
And then the man begins to expand the boundaries. Threesome, sadomasochistic, intimate evening with twin sisters, or something else. But over time everything becomes boring. This is generally a path without end or edge: no matter how much you step forward, sooner or later there will be too little fire. And this sexual chaos, this pursuit of new drivers - they are already quite toxic. A man strives to get new emotions from women's bodies, and not from a woman’s emotions, her inner world, her uniqueness. Sooner or later he runs into such an emotional impasse: he tried everything - nothing works! What's next?
That’s when some people finally understand that their beloved wife can be the source of truly high-quality emotions. And the coolest sex is with her!
123RF/georgerudy
She knows all your weaknesses - how and where to caress you, what clothes excite you, what her actions are in in a good way blow your mind. She can give you something that no one else will give, since the level of trust between husband and wife is much greater - the other will say: “ugh, I will never do that,” but the wife will do it. Because he loves. And he knows how much his husband wants it.
I generally advocate open dialogue in couples and believe that there should be no secrets, including erotic ones, between husband and wife. It is naive to hope that a loved one will independently guess what you really want. Let's say I really love foot-fetish, without it, sex is not sex for me. And if some stranger may well say: “Oh, why are you kissing my toes - it’s somehow strange” or “stop it, I’m actually afraid of tickling,” then a huge field for activity opens up for the woman she loves. You can walk around the house in open sandals, offer to sleep like a jack, spread condensed milk on your feet and feed your husband this amazing dessert.
Well, or why not confess to the woman you love:
- Listen, Masha from the next department - passion is so good...
And his wife didn’t hit him on the head with a rolling pin, but in such a languid voice: “What is she like? How would you like to be with her? What would she be wearing?
123RF/Kaspars Grinvalds
It's fun to play like this and tickle your nerves this way. And then you can invite this Masha over not for a threesome, but just for a cup of coffee. Masha will not even guess that she is part of a sexual game, and the husband and wife’s emotions will go through the roof. And this is without any betrayal.
In general, there is no need to be afraid to play and experiment. You never know what is accepted and not accepted by society, what rules and moral dogmas exist - be open to something new and at least try it before categorically condemning something. It is very important for a man that his wife cares that she hears him. Even if the passion has subsided, and falling in love has passed over the years, this connection between close people still exists, and such sex gives much more emotions. Because a wife is not just a beautiful body like the others. My wife is special. Darling! The dearest! She has such a soul!
My father, for example, still remembers how he came on leave from the army and forgot his cap at home. For such carelessness in his unit, they certainly wouldn’t have given him a pat on the head. Mom rushed to the station with this cap and saved the situation. This story sank into his soul so much that he still remembers it, although about thirty years have passed. I think every family has enough stories like this, and families rely on stories like these too. It unites. They say about such people that they ate a pound of salt together. A random mistress would hardly have strained herself - she would have thrown her cap out the window with a light hand and would run on about her business...
Do you have to go through all the circles of sexual hell in order to realize that the best sex can only happen with your wife and that there is no one more precious than her in the world? - the devil knows. Everyone has their own path. What is there to hide: sometimes we men give in, give in to instincts, some kind of emotional impulse. At the same time, we don’t even always feel shame, because we know that for us this is too insignificant a connection - today it was good, but tomorrow we may not even remember her name.
And when we get caught, and we almost always get caught, it really hurts us when this event causes a feeling of Armageddon for our wives. The world is collapsing, the ground is disappearing from under our feet. And I want to reassure, console, explain that she is the best and most beloved. That only with her is it truly good and happy, only with her is it so close and warm. And with that other one, it’s just stupid, an accident. But I can’t explain it. Because her world has already collapsed, and try to glue it back together. How was it...
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Representatives of the stronger sex claim that you can cheat and love at the same time. At the same time, they deny their guilt. Some are convinced that the wife’s alienation is to blame. Other factors also influence whether a man can cheat on his lover.
Some representatives of the stronger sex justify themselves by the call of instinct. Fertilization the largest number females - an immutable law of nature.
However, people are not animals. Having a permanent partner, it is possible to resist base passions.
A mature, conscientious person has a developed sense of duty to his wife. Many people find it difficult to take responsibility for their own actions. Mostly immature individuals are capable of justifying betrayal solely as a biological need.
Information about conquests has been preserved in the genetic memory of humanity. Nothing has changed now. Only the goal of conquering distant lands was transformed into a struggle for a career, money, fame, and recognition in society. When some difficulties arise in work, a feeling of inferiority appears: due to the lack of the desired status, insufficient money to support relatives, unemployment. A failed careerist concentrates his efforts in the wrong direction. Seducing girls brings a temporary feeling of sufficiency. In this way, the cheater tries to assert himself. The main thing is to get the “trophy”. Intimate connections partially replace the need for self-realization.
Research from the British Institute of Economics has found a relationship between intelligence and the tendency to commit adultery. Highly intelligent representatives of the stronger sex are more faithful companions. Successful loving man who knows how to earn money is established as a person. The completed mission of the “breadwinner” gives a feeling of completeness. Professional development excludes raising self-esteem at the expense of women.
“Have I tried everything in life?” is the main worrying question for forty-year-olds. During middle age, many are troubled by a feeling of dissatisfaction with their marital past. The desire to make up for lost time arises if the breadwinner of the family completely devoted himself to his career, business, or science. Past well-deserved successes, loving wife, the children fade into the background. Understanding that old age is approaching pushes us to take previously unusual actions.
It is important for a person to feel admiration, approval, support, love. If the wife forgets to please her husband kind words, he cheats with his young passion. The enthusiastic look of a young girl inspires new achievements and stimulates development. This is why a married man decides to commit adultery at the age of 40.
The loving behavior of representatives of the stronger sex may be a consequence improper upbringing parents. Some individuals think that sexual relationships will fill the mother’s care that they missed in childhood. Such reasoning is driven by infantilism, an immature view of partnerships. Sex is perceived as confirmation of love.
The desire to be loved cannot be suppressed by an abundance of intimate relationships. A distorted idea of a normal family often appears as a result of the participation of a nanny. The care of a teacher is not enough to make up for maternal affection. The child perceives the appearance of a strange woman as normal. Subsequently, the model of the presence of a third party affects future life.
Another psychological explanation for the desire to cheat is revenge. A person’s negative sexual experience affects subsequent relationships. Resentment for betrayal ex-girlfriend are deposited on an unconscious level. Offended guy driven by the desire to take revenge on the female sex. He hurts new girl for past suffering. There are also situations when they deliberately take revenge on a specific person.
Representatives of the stronger sex complain that monotony and lack of new experience pushes them to go “to the left.” Romantic feelings are eaten away by routine and everyday life. The lack of emotions within a relationship pushes you to look for bright impressions from the outside. When boredom sets in, the husband may stumble, even if he loves his wife.
Another lady gives a feeling of novelty. The unknown is intriguing. The husband violates marital fidelity, although he continues to have tender feelings for his partner. Romantic affairs exclude the solution of everyday issues and the fulfillment of duties, therefore they can please an unfaithful person for a long time.
A loving man will not cheat and look for wit on the side if he brings bright colors to the routine in a different way. Joint new hobbies and extreme sports help to avoid a crisis in a relationship.
Men love with their eyes. Beauties attract their gaze. When the beloved stops paying attention to appearance, the connoisseur female beauty looking for another object of admiration. Pleasure comes solely from contemplating the girl’s appearance. However, the risk of temptation always exists.
The appearance of the chosen one is important. You need to watch your figure, eat right, and exercise. IN home clothes you need to look beautiful. Otherwise, an exemplary family man risks being seduced by a cunning rival.
The birth of a child pushes sex into the background. The wife refuses her loved one and ignores his need for intimacy. The baby gets most of the attention. The coldness of the spouse provokes betrayal.
Another problem is the female tendency to act as a mother in relation to her life partner. When the missus is seen as a mother instead of a seductress, she disappears sexual desire. It is important for new mothers to understand the dangers of such behavior.
A man can love and cheat if his chosen one starts unreasonable scandals. The wife-saw discourages her husband from rushing home. Family is meant to bring joy, and frequent nagging gradually cools feelings. Repeated insults, belittling, and accusations are an indicator of disrespect. Will the chosen one remain faithful when his beloved neglects his commitment? Probably not.
Some are more prone to adultery than others. Some people justify betrayal and find explanations for it, others condemn it and remain faithful to their spouse all their lives.
It is not necessary that, having received less of something from the woman he loves, the spouse will begin to cheat. A mature person who follows moral principles does not even think about betraying his other half. Problems of misunderstanding need to be resolved between two people. If a man loves, he recognizes fidelity as an important family value.
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